HBO Real Time Mar. 28, 2025

“I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.”

- Bill Maher -

“The Pope has a Facebook page. That’s true, I’m not making that up. What’s creepy is that under the relationship status, he put ‘It’s complicated.'”

- Bill Maher -

“Since Tom DeLay has done only two things since leaving politics – ‘Dancing with the Stars’, and now prison, somebody must tell him: there are easier ways to have sex with men.”

- Bill Maher -

“Trump rides the bus with Billy Bush and we throw Al Franken under it.”

- Bill Maher -

“”Ha, we’re changing Operation Iraqi Freedom to Operation New Dawn – sounds like a Twilight movie – we’re not occupiers, we’re sexy vampires!”

- Bill Maher -

“To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.”

- Bill Maher -

“There’s a reason small towns are small. No one wants to live there.”

- Bill Maher -

“The irony is what we love most about our cars—the feeling of freedom they provide—has made us slaves. Slaves to cheap oil, which has corrupted our politics, threatened our environment and funded our enemies.”

- Bill Maher -

“I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.”

- Bill Maher -

“It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.”

- Bill Maher -

“Religion is insanity by consensus.”

- Bill Maher -

“We fear different things. I fear climate change. They fear a demon in a red bodysuit… with a pitchfork.”

- Bill Maher -

“We owe China a trillion dollars. I opened a fortune cookie the other day, it said, ‘Pay up, deadbeat.'”

- Bill Maher -

“Curious people are interesting people; I wonder why that is.”

- Bill Maher -

“I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws? “

- Bill Maher -

“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”

- Bill Maher -

“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”

- Bill Maher -

“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”

- Bill Maher -

“Men are only as loyal as their options.”

- Bill Maher -

“There are good people who do good things, there are bad people who do bad things, but to get a good person to do a bad thing takes religion.”

- Bill Maher -