HBO Real Time Dec. 8, 2023

“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”

- Bill Maher -

“We fear different things. I fear climate change. They fear a demon in a red bodysuit… with a pitchfork.”

- Bill Maher -

“Tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people.”

- Bill Maher -

“What do you think would happen if tomorrow Obama showed up with Kanye’s crop circles shaved into his head? Stock market would lose 5,000 pts.”

- Bill Maher -

“It seems like we have to tax something, why not rich dead people? Of all the things you could tax; they don’t have any need for the money, on account of that whole being dead thing.”

- Bill Maher -

“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”

- Bill Maher -

“Trump rides the bus with Billy Bush and we throw Al Franken under it.”

- Bill Maher -

“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”

- Bill Maher -

“The irony is what we love most about our cars—the feeling of freedom they provide—has made us slaves. Slaves to cheap oil, which has corrupted our politics, threatened our environment and funded our enemies.”

- Bill Maher -

“To really understand how whack religion is, you have to look at the new religions– which for this country is Mormons and Scientologists. Who I think should merge and make Mormontology.”

- Bill Maher -

“There are good people who do good things, there are bad people who do bad things, but to get a good person to do a bad thing takes religion.”

- Bill Maher -

“If you don’t know how to feel about the arrest of Julian Assange here’s the rule in Trumpworld: Hiding in an embassy? Bad if you have secrets. Chopping someone up in an embassy? Good if you have oil.”

- Bill Maher -

“The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.”

- Bill Maher -

“Wow just read Oxford Dictionary added OMG and LOL as words! WTF??”

- Bill Maher -

“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.”

- Bill Maher -

“The Real Axis of Evil in America is the Genius of our marketing and the gullibility of our people”

- Bill Maher -

“There was a revolution in the Arab country of Tunisia. Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it’s the name of one of Obama’s kids”

- Bill Maher -

“Why do people act shocked whenever NASCAR drivers get into an accident what?! No! One minute he’s flying around an oil-slicked track at 200 mph, and the next minute: gone!”

- Bill Maher -

“Men are only as loyal as their options.”

- Bill Maher -

“If everyone likes you, you have never said anything true. Anytime you speak the truth, some people are going to hate you.”

- Bill Maher -