HBO Real Time Oct. 22, 2021

“Michelle Bachman for President. As a comedian, all I can say is, where can I donate to this cause?”

- Bill Maher -

“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”

- Bill Maher -

“Why are decent citizens still being jailed for smoking the wrong plant, easing the suffering of the terminally ill, or accepting cash for sex instead of the customary dinner and drinks?”

- Bill Maher -

“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”

- Bill Maher -

“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”

- Bill Maher -

“If you don’t know how to feel about the arrest of Julian Assange here’s the rule in Trumpworld: Hiding in an embassy? Bad if you have secrets. Chopping someone up in an embassy? Good if you have oil.”

- Bill Maher -

“Tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people.”

- Bill Maher -

“I don’t hate America. I love America. Thomas Jefferson lived in America. Mark Twain lived in America. So did Billie Holiday and Frank Lloyd Wright… and a lot of other people Sarah Palin never heard of.”

- Bill Maher -

“There was a revolution in the Arab country of Tunisia. Not a lot of people know about Tunisia. Sarah Palin thinks it’s the name of one of Obama’s kids”

- Bill Maher -

“It is being reported that a third of the world watched the royal wedding – and yet they claim gays are only 3 pct of population?”

- Bill Maher -

“We owe China a trillion dollars. I opened a fortune cookie the other day, it said, ‘Pay up, deadbeat.'”

- Bill Maher -

“Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.”

- Bill Maher -

“We fear different things. I fear climate change. They fear a demon in a red bodysuit… with a pitchfork.”

- Bill Maher -

“The BP oil spill is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.”

- Bill Maher -

“The irony is what we love most about our cars—the feeling of freedom they provide—has made us slaves. Slaves to cheap oil, which has corrupted our politics, threatened our environment and funded our enemies.”

- Bill Maher -

“The Real Axis of Evil in America is the Genius of our marketing and the gullibility of our people”

- Bill Maher -

“Is it just me or does Times Square look like Tokyo now?”

- Bill Maher -

“If everyone likes you, you have never said anything true. Anytime you speak the truth, some people are going to hate you.”

- Bill Maher -

“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”

- Bill Maher -

“Isn’t the problem that almost all Republicans are conservative, but not all Democrats are liberal?”

- Bill Maher -