“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”
- Bill Maher -
“To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who’s your real friend? It’s the person who tells you the truth. That’s who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.”
- Bill Maher -
“To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I agree’.”
- Bill Maher -
“Trump rides the bus with Billy Bush and we throw Al Franken under it.”
- Bill Maher -
“I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.”
- Bill Maher -
“Men are only as loyal as their options.”
- Bill Maher -
“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.'”
- Bill Maher -
“There are good people who do good things, there are bad people who do bad things, but to get a good person to do a bad thing takes religion.”
- Bill Maher -
“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”
- Bill Maher -
“To really understand how whack religion is, you have to look at the new religions– which for this country is Mormons and Scientologists. Who I think should merge and make Mormontology.”
- Bill Maher -
“Wow just read Oxford Dictionary added OMG and LOL as words! WTF??”
- Bill Maher -
“Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don’t have all the answers to think that they do.”
- Bill Maher -
“If you don’t know how to feel about the arrest of Julian Assange here’s the rule in Trumpworld: Hiding in an embassy? Bad if you have secrets. Chopping someone up in an embassy? Good if you have oil.”
- Bill Maher -
“God isn’t talking to you, those are called thoughts.”
- Bill Maher -
“There’s a reason small towns are small. No one wants to live there.”
- Bill Maher -
“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”
- Bill Maher -
“The Pope has a Facebook page. That’s true, I’m not making that up. What’s creepy is that under the relationship status, he put ‘It’s complicated.'”
- Bill Maher -
“Over half of Republicans believe in Creationism – for those too young to recall, they didn’t used to be the party of ignorance-what happened?”
- Bill Maher -
“I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.”
- Bill Maher -
“Why can’t God just defeat the devil and get rid of evil? It’s the same reason the comic book character can’t get rid of his nemesis; then there’s no story.”
- Bill Maher -