April 10, 2021
Sat • 8 pm
Sat • 8 pm
Meridian Hall
Toronto, ON
Buy Tickets
HBO Real Time Guests:
Fareed Zakaria - John Leguizamo - Noah Rothman - John Avlon
Friday, October 16, 2020 at 10 pm
Watch on HBO and HBO Max
Visit HBO Real Time
Schedule
BILL MAHER COMEDY TOUR
April 24, 2021
Sat • 7 pm
Sat • 7 pm
Eccles Theater
Salt Lake City, UT
Buy Tickets
April 25, 2021
Sun • 8 pm
Sun • 8 pm
Queen Elizabeth Theatre
Vancouver, BC
Buy Tickets
May 28, 2021
Fri • 8 pm
Fri • 8 pm
Borgata Event Center
Atlantic City, NJ
Buy Tickets
June 12, 2021
Sat • 8 pm
Sat • 8 pm
Kravis Center
West Palm Beach, FL
Buy Tickets
“The BP oil spill is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.”
“Wow just read Oxford Dictionary added OMG and LOL as words! WTF??”
“We owe China a trillion dollars. I opened a fortune cookie the other day, it said, ‘Pay up, deadbeat.'”
“The Pope has a Facebook page. That’s true, I’m not making that up. What’s creepy is that under the relationship status, he put ‘It’s complicated.'”
“George Bush, compared to these tea baggers, he looks like a professor.”
“It is being reported that a third of the world watched the royal wedding – and yet they claim gays are only 3 pct of population?”
“Sarah Palin visited Israel and stood at the Wailing Wall and said ‘I stood here for 45 minutes and didn’t see one whale.'”
“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”
“Tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people.”
“Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.”
“I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws? “
“It seems like we have to tax something, why not rich dead people? Of all the things you could tax; they don’t have any need for the money, on account of that whole being dead thing.”
“Why do people act shocked whenever NASCAR drivers get into an accident what?! No! One minute he’s flying around an oil-slicked track at 200 mph, and the next minute: gone!”
“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”
“Trump rides the bus with Billy Bush and we throw Al Franken under it.”
“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”
“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.”
“Isn’t the problem that almost all Republicans are conservative, but not all Democrats are liberal?”
“To really understand how whack religion is, you have to look at the new religions– which for this country is Mormons and Scientologists. Who I think should merge and make Mormontology.”
“I believe in the death penalty, but with better DNA testing – my slogan is ‘Let’s Kill The right People'”
HEADLINES
October 16, 2020
HBO Real Time: Friday, Oct. 16, 2020
October 9, 2020
HBO Real Time: Friday, Oct. 9, 2020
September 25, 2020
HBO Real Time: Friday, September 25, 2020
HBO Real Time: Friday, September 18, 2020
HBO Real Time: Friday, September 11, 2020
HBO Real Time: Friday, August 28, 2020
HBO Real Time Guests: Friday August 21, 2020
June 24, 2020
HBO Real Time Returns: Friday, July 31, 2020
HBO Real Time is back with Kerry Washington, Jim Carrey, Thomas Chatterton Williams and Bari Weiss this Friday only on HBO!
June 19, 2020
HBO Real Time Guests: Friday, June 19, 2020
Susan Rice is the former US Ambassador to the UN who served as President Obama’s National Security Advisor from 2013-2017. Her New York Times bestselling memoir is “Tough Love: My Story of the Things Worth Fighting For.” Twitter: @AmbassadorRice
June 15, 2019
DEAD MAN TALKING
This sounds like a clumsy plot twist in a John Grisham movie, but it’s not. The estranged daughter of Thomas Hofeller, the GOP operative nicknamed “the Michelangelo of gerrymandering,” recently discovered some of her late father’s hard drives in storage. Now, what they revealed isn’t shocking – that the Republicans are trying to use every trick they […]
VIDEOS
Here Comes President Gus
If there’s one thing we’ve learned from this presidency it’s that you have to get every rule in writing or Donald Trump will break it.
Power Talks and Losers Walk
Bill argues that the only way to stop the Republicans’ consolidation of power is by electing Joe Biden with a vote total so huge it will be hard to ignore.
Oscars, No White
Bill questions the wisdom of the Academy Awards’ new diversity requirements and its effect on artistic expression.
Side with Teachers
Bill calls on parents to show their newfound respect for teachers by taking their side in classroom disagreements
#FreeUpTheMail
Bill calls on Americans to temporarily limit the amount of junk they send through the mail in order to help postal workers deliver election ballots.
Think Like a True QAnon
Bill re-reveals his true identity as “Q” and revels in the embrace of his conspiracy theories by President Trump and other politicians.
God Is Cancelled Party
If being a product of your time is no longer an excuse for being un-woke, Jesus Christ is in big trouble.
Here Lies Donald Trump
Bill offers President Trump some insight into how he will be remembered when he’s gone.
The Quarantine 15
Bill implores Americans do to their part in the fight against COVID-19 by confronting the country’s obesity epidemic.
The Guardians of Gotcha
Bill calls for an end to the shaming and canceling of people whose heart is in the right place on race issues, but don’t get it exactly right on the first try.