HBO Real Time Nov. 13th

“Curious people are interesting people; I wonder why that is.”

- Bill Maher -

“We owe China a trillion dollars. I opened a fortune cookie the other day, it said, ‘Pay up, deadbeat.'”

- Bill Maher -

“Men are only as loyal as their options.”

- Bill Maher -

“There’s a reason small towns are small. No one wants to live there.”

- Bill Maher -

All religion is just an opinion.

- Bill Maher -

“I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.”

- Bill Maher -

“If everyone likes you, you have never said anything true. Anytime you speak the truth, some people are going to hate you.”

- Bill Maher -

“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”

- Bill Maher -

“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”

- Bill Maher -

“If you don’t know how to feel about the arrest of Julian Assange here’s the rule in Trumpworld: Hiding in an embassy? Bad if you have secrets. Chopping someone up in an embassy? Good if you have oil.”

- Bill Maher -

“Men are only as loyal as their options.”

- Bill Maher -

“When you tolerate intolerance, you are not really being a liberal.”

- Bill Maher -

“If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.”

- Bill Maher -

“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”

- Bill Maher -

“The Real Axis of Evil in America is the Genius of our marketing and the gullibility of our people”

- Bill Maher -

“There are good people who do good things, there are bad people who do bad things, but to get a good person to do a bad thing takes religion.”

- Bill Maher -

“To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.”

- Bill Maher -

“It’s amazing, the world now has more oil than it has places to store it. Even Don Jr.’s hair is at capacity.”

- Bill Maher -

“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”

- Bill Maher -

“The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.”

- Bill Maher -