NEW HBO Real Time Sept. 29, 2023

“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”

- Bill Maher -

“The irony is what we love most about our cars—the feeling of freedom they provide—has made us slaves. Slaves to cheap oil, which has corrupted our politics, threatened our environment and funded our enemies.”

- Bill Maher -

“The battle for good health is won on the cellular level”

- Bill Maher -

“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”

- Bill Maher -

“George Bush, compared to these tea baggers, he looks like a professor.”

- Bill Maher -

“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”

- Bill Maher -

“The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.”

- Bill Maher -

“As you go down the path of life, ask what’s true. Not who else believes it.”

- Bill Maher -

“To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who’s your real friend? It’s the person who tells you the truth. That’s who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.”

- Bill Maher -

“Tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people.”

- Bill Maher -

“There are good people who do good things, there are bad people who do bad things, but to get a good person to do a bad thing takes religion.”

- Bill Maher -

“I believe in the death penalty, but with better DNA testing – my slogan is ‘Let’s Kill The right People'”

- Bill Maher -

“It seems like we have to tax something, why not rich dead people? Of all the things you could tax; they don’t have any need for the money, on account of that whole being dead thing.”

- Bill Maher -

“The countries that have the money to offer large cash awards to the families of suicide bombers, or to send little boys to madrasah’s, the prep schools of hate, are getting that money from people using lots of oil.”

- Bill Maher -

“I don’t want my president to be a TV star. You don’t have to be on television every minute of every day – you’re the president, not a rerun of ‘Law & Order’.”

- Bill Maher -

“There’s a reason small towns are small. No one wants to live there.”

- Bill Maher -

“The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs.”

- Bill Maher -

“We owe China a trillion dollars. I opened a fortune cookie the other day, it said, ‘Pay up, deadbeat.'”

- Bill Maher -

“Wow just read Oxford Dictionary added OMG and LOL as words! WTF??”

- Bill Maher -

“The BP oil spill is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.”

- Bill Maher -